Losing a friend
by Devora McCovington
Summary: Harry's with Cho (bleach) Hermione's with Draco... but will it last? This is a drama too, though no one dies here (gasp!)Remember the three Rs: Read, Review and Remember me at the awards ceremony


Authors note: As all the people who read 'I won't leave you lonely' may know, I am a Harry/ Hermione shipper, and I believe 'nothing is as it seems.' I have also received e-mail and reviews saying that I belong in a psychiatric hospital. You'll be happy to know that I went to the psychologist when I was 5 because I threw a shoe at people when they got on my nerves (I split my best friends head open with my mothers sharp heeled shoe.) So there. I also like killing people in stories. So, you're right in a way… I AM a homicidal maniac. ;) You will be shocked to know that no one dies here! (Major shock!)

Disclaimer: I don't own no one!

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Harry stared out his window. Ron was sitting in front of him, reading a book (flying with the cannons, for about the 55th time) and Hermione was drawing Crookshanks on a piece of parchment. He sighed. Maybe this year, he might pluck up the courage to ask Cho Chang out… He heard the compartment door slide open and turned to look. His heart stopped. Cho was coming in, dragging a huge, heavy looking trunk, in with her. 

"Can I sit here?" She asked. Harry saw Hermione look up.

"Sure. But we left London about 4 hours ago. Don't tell me you've been dragging a trunk for four hours, looking for somewhere to sit?"

"No. Just fifteen minutes. Fred and George set off a dung bomb in our compartment. We had to get out for fear of dying of suffocation." She answered.

Hermione helped her with her trunk and went back to drawing. 

"That's very good." Cho commented, looking at Crookshanks' picture. 

"Are you kidding? The eyes are way too big and his paws look like ice cubes."

"No, really. It's very good." 

Hermione looked at her with mounting amusement.

"You need glasses. I'm drawing my cat by the way. Not the snack cart.

"I KNOW you're drawing your cat. It looks exactly like it!"

"Yeah. Right. If it looks like him, I'm the queen of Spain."

"Good afternoon your highness." Hermione burst out laughing.

"I like you. You seem a bit nicer than some of the Ravenclaws I know."

" I don't know whether to take that as an insult or as a compliment." 

Hermione grinned.

"A compliment." She shoved her drawing in Ron's face. 

"Tell her this doesn't look like Crookshanks."

"It doesn't look like Crookshanks."

"See?"

"You can hardly blame him… he's half asleep."

"Whatever. Harry does this look like my cat?"

"Yeah."

"See!"

"Fine it looks like him! You can have it then. Just wait a sec." She took out a small paintbrush and some sort of water in a jar and spread the water over the picture. The cat started to move, behaving almost exactly like Crookshanks.

"Cool! What is that stuff?" Cho asked.

"Picture mixture. It makes your drawings move. I got it in Diagon alley last week." She suddenly became very tense. "That reminds me… Draco asked me out…" 

Ron snapped to attention.

"WHAT? Oh my God! Now we can get back at him! He'll be the laughing stock of the school!"

"I didn't finish… I accepted."

Ron's jaw dropped.

"You didn't."

"I did…"

"Hermione… he calls you mudblood every minute of every day…"

"MY GOD RON! I KNEW YOU WEREN'T GOING TO TAKE THIS WELL!"

"HOW COULD I TAKE THIS WELL? JUST LAST YEAR, HE TURNED BLUE! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?"

"I'LL DO WHATEVER I DAMN WELL WANT!"

"NOT IF I CAN HELP IT!"

"SHUT UP RON! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!" She burst into tears, making Ron look very uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry. It's just that… you know… Draco?"

"He might have had a change of heart." Cho told Ron. Harry smiled. She was nice to everyone. She was perfect. Perfect in every way. 

"Cho…"

"Yeah?"

Harry bit his lip.

"I was just wondering if you'd like to get a butterbeer with me sometime." Hermione lifted her tear-streaked face and grinned at Cho. Ron raised his eyebrows approvingly.

"Sure. Why not? Unless someone who-shall-remain-nameless objects." She shot an angry glare at Ron, who mockingly cowered in his seat. Harry breathed a sigh of relief. However, as soon as he started talking to Cho, the compartment door slid open.

"Draco!" Hermione squealed. She bounced up and he pulled her into a hug.

"Missed you, babe." Draco said, stroking her hair. Ron looked like he was struggling against ropes that had tied him up and Cho was grinning from ear to ear. Harry managed a half-grin. Now that he thought of it, Draco and her really did look good together. Harry looked at Cho. 

"So, we got a date?" 

"You bet we do."

****

1 MONTH LATER

Harry looked up from his charms book to see Cho and Hermione squabling over whether Gryffindor or Ravenclaw were going to win the next Quidditch match. The two burst into laughter finally, as they always did when they had a fight over who had the best boyfriend ar who had the best Quidditch team or who was going to win the Golden Quill award, the Academic performance award. Harry grinned. Both of them had been nominated for it, while he had been nominated for the Golden snitch award (the seeker award). But then the girls made him remember something he wanted to forget entirely: the first Quidditch match of the season: Gryffindor against Ravenclaw. It was going to be impossible if Cho and Harry were going to remain a couple… Harry looked at her. Hermione and her had grown so close since the train ride that all four of them had decided to eat at a separate table, and were sometimes joined by Draco. He really had changed since the previous year. He cared for Hermione a lot. It was hard not to notice. If she barely even scratched her finger he would use every charm, potion and spell to make it better. Even Ron had come to admit that Draco was becoming a new kid, a much nicer one. Cho got up to leave to bed, waving goodnight. Hermione smiled back and picked up her quill to write. Her brown hair was let down for once, making her look like a gypsy. Harry grinned. She had become almost exactly like a gypsy since she'd met Cho. She was always dancing and singing, speaking her mind and going hyper all the time. She behaved like a madwoman in the evenings, playing her CDs top volume and dancing around the common room to them. Everyone in Hogwarts had gone into shock the first time that had happened. As Harry remembered she was playing a BSB CD…

**&^%%

"AND THAT MAKES YOU LARGER THAN LIFE!!! WHOOOOOOOO!"

Harry and Ron stared at the hyperactive Hermione screaming her lungs out, jumping on and off chairs, doing cartwheels and back flips and jumping on Fred Weasley's back every so often.

"She's gone insane…" Ron mumbled.

"You think?" Harry answered, sarcastically.

"HEY GUYS!!! DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THAT SONG???? IT'S THE BEST!!!!"

"Do we know this person?" Ron asked Harry.

"Hermione… calm down!"

"I AM CALM!!! I JUST LOVE THIS SONG!!!!"

And she jumped on the table next to them and fell off it, laughing her head off.

"If she's calm, I'd hate to see her hyper." Ron said.

Harry looked around the common room. The entire house were shocked by her sudden outburst. Fred and George were gaping at her. What the hell was she doing? Lavender and Parvati were each huddled together, looking quite afraid. Ginny was in shock but she was laughing her head off. 

"I think she's starting to seriously scare the living daylights out of everybody." Harry muttered. Still in shock.

!@#$%

Of course, three weeks had passed since then, so Hermione's little fits were considered as normal as Fred and George setting dungbombs off in Finch's office. He looked across the table to her. He sighed and picked up all him books and sat next to her. 

"You gonna go insane tonight or are you going to run in the teacher's lounge screaming your head off?"

"Dunno. Maybe both." She grinned.

"Is Draco as freaked out as everybody else is or is he considering taking you to a psychiatrist?"

"Second option I think. God you have no idea how good it feels though. All my life I've been considered as the quiet girl who knew everything immaginable."

"You got rid of that reputation pretty well though."

"Good."

The two laughed a bit. Hermione went back to writing a very long looking essay, entitled: _The magical Flaura and Fauna of France. _A bit of hair danced across her face. Harry pushed it back.

"You have beautiful hair." She looked at him.

"Thanks." He strocked it. His eyes met hers. Their faces moved closer. They closed their eyes and kissed. 

Hermione was the first to pull back. And when she did looked shocked and hurt. She gathered up her books and left the library as quickly as possible, leaving Harry in his guilty and confused thoughts. It was then that he realised it. He loved her. She loved him. And they'd never realised. He buiried his face in his hands. And there had been so many things that would have shown him how he felt…

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Harry walked in the common room after Quidditch practice, eager to take a cold shower, but as soon as he stepped in, he noticed a crowd of people huddling in a corner. Harry walked towards them and hears sobs and reasuring voices. He got on his hands and knees and crawled through the tangle of legs. He reached the middle and gasped when he saw Hermione on her knees, crying into her hands. And in front of her lay a bloody Crookshanks. He crawled next to her and put an arm around her shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

She looked at him angrily.

"ISN'T IT OBVIOUS? HE'S DEAD, GOD DAMN IT!" She pointed a shaky finger at the cat. She burst into tears again and threw her arms around Harry. There hse stayed for a long time. So long that when she fell asleep in his arms, it was 3 in the morning. Harry magicked her up the stairs and tucked her in her bed. He fell asleep on the chair next to her bed, so that he could comfort her if she woke up, thinking it was all a horrible nightmare…

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How could he have been so stupid? Of course he'd stayed there for another reason. He just hadn't known it. Silently, he pulled his books together and left the library. He walked up to the Fat Lady.

"Crues Mortus." He mumbled. The door swung open. No one was in sight. He walked up the stairs and sank into his bed. 

He woke up at 2. He tried again and again to fall asleep naturally, but found it impossible. Finally, he walked down the stairs, carrying a book called: Magical Bali. He didn't read it though, because Hermione was sitting in the room, reading a book. When she saw him, she snapped it shut and started walking towards her dormitory. Harry grabbed her arm.

"You can't run from it forever you know. What's done cannot be undone." Harry whispered. "We have to tell them." 

"I know, Harry, I know… it's just that, Cho's filled me with something I've never had before, and Draco makes me feel like I'm someone special. I can't give it up."

"I know it's hard… but maybe they'll understand!"

"UNDERSTAND?! HOW COULD THEY UNDERSTAND?" She hissed.

"Hermione… If we don't tell them… we can never be together…"

"Then so be it." She broke free and walked to her room, sobbing…

****

10 YEARS LATER

He looks at the only picture of them together. She is talking to him. He is smiling. They could never be together. She is married to Draco, they have children. But when he looks at the pictures in the papers, there is no fire in her eyes as there had been 10 years ago. He hasn't heard from her since graduation, and every owl he sends comes back with no reply.

"Honey! Dinnner's ready!" Cho calls.

"I'll be right there!" He shouts back. He looks at the picture.

"I love you, Hermione, I always will…" He places the picture in the fire, not caring about the fire burning his hands and arms and walks down the stairs to a girl he has married, without truly loving her.

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She looks out the window, cradling her youngest child in her arms. She stares at the stars, at Mars.

"Mars is bright tonight." She remembers Bane tell Harry so in their first year. 15 years ago and she still remembers. The star is her only solid memory of the one she loves. The one she can never be with. She looks down at the pile of letters. How can she return them? How can she write to him without breaking down into tears. 

"Chose the ones you love carefully, Harry. Or you could end up like me. Like a bag without a zipper. Everything falls out." She tells the child in her arms. She looks at Mars.

"I love you Harry… I always will."

She stands up and walks down to the man that she married, without truly loving him…

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Authors note: I got really depressed when I wrote this. And I had just watched this corny french movie called Forbiden Love. So I wrote this. Two things I gotta say, when Hermione's drawing Crookshanks at the beginning of the story, she had no model. She's just drawing him as she remembers. Second. As you may have noticed, I might have made a billion mistakes. Wanna know why? My spell check's not working!!! OK!!! So did you like it! Did you hate it!!! Tell me!!! 

Or you can e-mail me at:

[lily_trelawney@hotmail.com][1]

see ya in my next fic!!!

Lily

   [1]: mailto:lily_trelawney@hotmail.com



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